Your ego refers to your sense of self-importance. We bring our egos into everything we do, and it's important to be mindful of the role the ego plays in shaping everyday living. If you have an overinflated ego, you risk coming across as reckless, detached, or cocky. You're also likely to feel disconnected in your relationships.
Similarly, people with overinflated egos tend to have very low self-esteem. You might be walking around holding this uncomfortable feeling of needing validation from others. This can also cause you to feel constantly distracted or distant.
If ego is getting in the way of your well-being, here are some steps you can take.
Internally Acknowledge Your Fears of Rejection
The ego works by operating from a constant homeostasis of both internal and external rewards. As social creatures, we're constantly reinforced by the people around us. We seek approval to feel accepted, so it's entirely normal to fear rejection.
At the same time, if you're terrified of rejection and it's dictating how you live your life, you're going to feel things fall short in your relationships. People with this fear can end up on both ends of the spectrum, with some becoming jealous or controlling and others becoming entirely subservient or people-pleasing.
Start by recognizing your relationship with rejection. Are you afraid of disappointing others? Do you worry that you aren't good enough to be loved? If so, how can you challenge some of your deeply held assumptions about how others perceive you?
This can take time, and it often requires expanding your self-awareness. But if you can slowly get out of your own head and realize that some rejection is inevitable, you can learn to desensitize yourself to its effects.
Shift to Being Happy Versus Being Right
In your relationships, are you focused more on cultivating connection or on being the most knowledgeable person in the room? Do you value proving a point, or do you value maintaining a safe and supportive dynamic? In other words, are you seeking closeness, or are you desiring power?
Relationships, regardless of the type, require a mutual take-and-give. It isn't about proving someone wrong or coming out on top. It's about giving each other the benefit of the doubt and also holding yourself accountable when you do make mistakes.
Shifting into this mindset allows you to focus more on the present moment and actually enjoy the virtues of the relationship (rather than trying to win every argument!).
Practice Seeking and Accepting Feedback
How well do you accept criticism? If you're like many people, even the thought of someone disliking something you do can trigger intensely negative feelings. Subsequently, you might become defensive or hostile in response to someone disagreeing with you.
But here's the thing: if you want to enjoy your relationships, you need to accept that it's impossible to always be in sync with other people. Others won't always like what you do.
Such moments of discourse don't make you a bad person- it simply makes you a human. But the more you can gracefully accept feedback, the more you showcase humility and growth, and these are some of the most attractive qualities a person can possess.
Focus On Collaboration When Possible
There's so much to be said about living in a hyper-independent society. And while autonomy has its undeniable virtues, it also comes with steep costs. People often feel competitive with one another, and there can be an undercurrent of needing control and "being right" in even the smallest of interactions.
Prioritizing collaboration is a way to slowly disarm the ego. When you're open to collaborating with others, you inherently exude a sense of curiosity about the world around you. You may be more receptive to worldviews that are different from your own.
This mindset expands your knowledge, and it helps sharpen your interpersonal skills with others. Better yet, it can also improve problem-solving on all fronts. These benefits can improve your emotional well-being, and they can foster deeper connections with your loved ones.
Improving Your Relationships and Well-Being With Resurface Group
At Resurface Group, we help people overcome mental health issues, build their self-esteem, and strengthen the quality of their relationships. This transcends self-improvement; we're here to truly support mind-body wellness and help you achieve your goals.
Our dynamic IOP program, Resurface Connect, provides an adaptive and flexible approach to recovery. We are in-network with most major health insurance plans and accessible to clients throughout California. Contact us today to chat with one of our intake specialists!