People often think that they fear failure, but what if you actually fear good things happening to you? Although it may sound counterintuitive, the fear of success (as we unpacked in this article), is real, and it may be unconsciously affecting you more than you realize.
This particular fear is often insidious and hard to identify. Overcoming fear of your own success requires understanding why your struggle exists in the first place and then taking self-compassionate steps toward change. Let's get into what you need to know.
Why Do You Fear Success?
At its core, the fear of success sometimes comes down to venturing into the unknown. If you're comfortable with failure or stagnation, there's a sense of familiarity. You know what your homeostasis feels like. Success catapults you into something new, and this can be exciting, but it can also feel dysregulating.
It Adds Pressure
For most people, achieving success isn't a one-time destination. There can be an immense sense of external or internal pressure to continue achieving success. You may now feel you have expectations you need to meet. There's also an image or reputation that must be upheld.
It Exposes Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome often comes with fears associated with success. There may be a part of you that really believes you're incompetent or that your "win" was just a fluke. Deep down, you might worry that others will find you out for being a fraud or just not "good enough." This potential fear can hold you back and perpetuate themes of anxiety and shame.
You May Not Feel Like You Really Deserve Success
Some people fear success because they have negative beliefs about their own skills or circumstances. Perhaps you're judging yourself based on past experiences, or you simply have low expectations for your ability to achieve goals. Maybe others have bullied or shamed you in the past. Either way, if this is the case, you might find yourself avoiding making progress.
How Do You Move Through Your Fear of Success?
Self-awareness is the first step in moving through any fear. This particular fear can be managed and overcome. But it will likely entail some discomfort. Here are some ways to start moving through those challenging feelings.
Acknowledge Your Emotions
You're allowed to feel nervous, excited, or even guilty about your success. Be honest with yourself about the fears associated with change- maybe you're worried about how success could change your relationships or self-image or job. Maybe you're afraid that you can't live up to your expectations. Once you can accept these feelings for what they are, they may seem less overwhelming.
Surround Yourself With Successful People
If you surround yourself with successful people, you'll likely note a common thread: most people doubt themselves from time to time. Even the most successful people often have persistent patterns of negative self-talk. Many still struggle with self-doubt long after they've been established. Feeling normalized in this experience can help you feel less alone in it.
Reframe Self-Sabotoge
Self-sabotage is often pathologized and can perpetuate excessive shame. So instead of shaming yourself, it may be helpful to examine your struggles with a more compassionate take. In many ways, conventional self-sabotaging behaviors are simply about securing a sense of comfort. It speaks to the familiar ways you try to take care of yourself. While you may not want to lean on those old habits, try to look at them with more curiosity and openness rather than immediate self-loathing or confusion.
Allow Yourself to Move Slowly
Some people think they need to change everything right away once getting a whiff of success. This strategy, while enticing, can backfire. It's often better to move slower than react intensely. Doing so gives you time to adjust and acclimate to the positive changes occurring in your life. Take your time to decide what you want to do next. Just because something feels incredibly urgent doesn't mean it is.
Accept Failure May Still Happen
At the end of the day, there is always so much that we can't control. You can do your absolute best to achieve certain goals, but life sometimes has other plans. You can't control how other people react to you, and you can't control how certain events unfold. Focus on what it's in in your locus- your actions, and allow those to lead how you carry yourself.
Harnessing Your Future Success With Resurface Group
At Resurface Group, we help people overcome their negative beliefs and rewrite their life narratives. Whether you're struggling with failure, chronic distraction, stagnation, procrastination, or other mental health adversities, we are here to help you achieve the personal growth you desire.
We pride ourselves on offering collaborative, evidence-based care individually tailored to your specific needs. Contact us today to learn more about our dynamic programs!
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